Frustrated

Yesterday was a busy and frustrating day. Matt has been having back problems and had some not so fun side effects from a medication he was taking (he got different meds and a new one added to hopefully it can calm down a bit) So first thing in the morning, I took him into the doctor. Thankfully his mom was able to keep the kids. Even though 2 out of the 3 of them had had fevers the last couple of days. We were in town for the doctor and then waiting for the prescription until around noon and came and got the kids.

Then we went home for about an hour before we had to turn around and leave again. We dropped the kids off at Natalie's and headed into town once again to go pick up the MRI images and the sonogram images. The MRI disk was at the hospital so we had to park in the garage and then I walked forever down and through all these hallways to get to the image check out place. Then walk all the way back. Matt couldn't go walk and get them because of his back. Then we drove across the street to the building where the sonogram disk was.

The office was on the third floor but there was a sign at the elevator that said it only worked intermittently and we should use the stairs. So this other lady with her baby and I started trying to find the stairs. Turns out just the fire escape stairs were what we could use. We start walking up them and get to the third floor. But it has a pass code on the door and it was locked. So up to the fourth. Still locked. Then up to the fifth and thankfully it was open. And then when we got to the offices up there, they said that the elevators should be fine to use. What?!? I was a little worried it would stop in the middle of a floor but I went ahead and used it to go back down to the third floor since there wasn't any other way to get to the third floor. I made it =)

So I've got both disks that I need to take to the surgeons office-that their office told me to make sure and bring. With a few minutes to spare even!

We get to the appointment and quickly realize that this is not what we were expecting. We were SO FRUSTRATED.

I'm not going to go into every little thing that he said (or what I was thinking because I was told to be nice) but basically he told us that the conclusions (or the most likely conclusions) of the specialist and the radiologist were wrong and that this is not Neuroblastoma.

Well, you may think this sounds wonderful. Isn't that what we want? Not cancer? Well, of course that it what we are praying for! We would be ecstatic if this were not cancer!! And we sure hope that is the case!

But what was the surgeon basing his conclusion on??? Statistics. That's it. Nothing else. He didn't even ask to look at the images and I asked him if he had seen them and told me no. He said that statistically it was too rare for this disease to be diagnosed in utero and since they just had one in the Wichita area diagnosed in utero in the last few months, which was the first one in ten years, then our case could not be the same.

I was in tears and Matt was speechless. And not the good tears or good speechless. Maybe you just had to be there to see it/feel it the way we did. But we will be getting together again with the specialist to see what else she has to say and discuss what the surgeon had to say. Because I know that she would not just tell us our baby has cancer just to say it without good reason and without even giving us some viable other options. And even if we can't do anything about this tumor until after baby is born, we would like to have a surgeon who cares and is planning with us on what actions could/would be taken once he is born.

Here is a sonogram picture of the mass/tumor that they are concerned about. It just seems so big to me inside the body of my little baby.