Birth Story {Longest Post Ever}

We started out the day with getting up around 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning to get to the hospital. I was scheduled to be induced early Wednesday morning. We got there and got checked in and a nice young nurse is just about to go off duty but had a little time left so she was going to start my I.V. She began with numbing the vein in my left arm. Then tried to put the IV in. Oh. My. Goodness. It hurt so bad! I don't think she even got it at all where it was numbed. She pushed around and tried to get it in but couldn't. Okay, she tried another spot. Nope, she couldn't get it in there either. She decided then that she should get another nurse that for sure could get it in because she was really good at it. The other nurse came in and confidently said sure she could get it in. So she tried it a third time. I think at that point she has trying to get it in my hand. Couldn't do it. So she tried again. Still a no go. So then they called in ANOTHER nurse. Thank goodness for her because she got it on her first try in my right arm. Five sticks! It took forever! The day did NOT start out well.

So the pitocin got started and the contractions started to get regular. We warned the nurses that my previous two babies were born on the bed with the nurses catching them. So they were very vigilant! I was about a 1.5 or 2 when I got to the hospital so I was hoping that things would move pretty quickly and I would have him at least by lunch time. Zethan was born about 4.5 hours after they started the pitocin with him, so I was thinking that it would be about that again. But of course this time I was being induced a week early instead of a week late. So I knew it may take a little longer.

Once the contractions were getting to be stronger and stronger they checked me again and I really had not progressed a whole lot. I can't remember exactly the details. But it had been probably at least 4 hours and I think I only had dilated to a 4 {which was only 2 more cm from when we got there}. So, I was quite bummed that I was only at a 4 when by that time with my last birth, I was having the baby. The contractions were getting strong enough that I was having to consciously breathe through them and concentrate on my breathing. Did I mention I was extremely bummed to hear I was only at a 4 or 5. Oh, okay. Well I was. Very dissappointed! I wanted him to have been born already!!

It was at this point. That I was thinking “I am not going to make it all day with these hard contractions. If it took that long to go 2 cm, I'm going to be here all day-I can't do these hard contractions all day!”

So I said to Matt, “Can I please get one this time?” Referring to an epidural. He did not want me to, but how can you argue with a woman in labor who wants pain relief =) Haha. 

So I told the nurse that I wanted one. She had a very surprised look on her face. But quickly went about doing whatever it is they do to get ready for it. The reason she was so surprised is because we had said at the beginning that I didn't want one. Never have had one. This will be the 4^th time I'm doing this. My babies come quickly. Yada yada yada.

Well for whatever reason, I really caved and did not have the mental strength this time, that it takes to give birth with no blocks.

It was about that time that my OB came to check on me during his lunch break and he said he about fell over when he heard they were just getting ready to start an epidural-since I had never had one before!

{You can know when it is getting painful when I start closing my eyes, breathing through my mouth and not responding to questions, other than a slight nod or shake or the head}

Anyway, so I didn't really know exactly what to expect since no one thought I was going to get one, they didn't really walk me through what would happen ahead of time{bu they did a really great job during the procedure telling me what to do and what was happening and everything}. They said one person could be in the room with me while they get it going. They assumed that Matt, the husband would stay but needles aren't exactly his thing, so my mom stayed in there with me. Natalie and Diane (Matt's mom) had also been in the room previously but they had just stepped out to go get some lunch.

They went through all the steps to get my back numbed and get the tubing into my back and everything. It actually was not too bad, I was having to breathe and really concentrate on relaxing and was having quite hard contractions and was just trying to really really relax. I just kept remembering that they said at one point, the best way to help make sure you don't get those epidural headaches is to stay still during the procedure. So I was trying very very hard to stay still. Anyway, they got it in and then had me lie down on my left side. Then they began doing the little test, where they poke your stomach and thighs to see where you are numb. Somehow, I was only getting numb on my right side. So every time I had a contraction, the pain seemed to be concentrated on the left side of my stomach. It felt horrible! Way worse than just having a regular contraction all over. It felt like the baby's head was going to burst through my stomach on the lower left side! I actually almost thought it was but knew that that was not possible since that was not even where his head was!

They kept telling me to push the button that delivers a little extra shot of pain medicine into your spine. I did, but it didn't help. So they upped the level of pain medicine going into my spine but still didn't help. At that point they told me that the only thing left to do was to take out the tubing and start over because it was possible that the tubing just veered off the one side and that is why it was only getting to the right side. I told them to just forget it because by then I was feeling A LOT of pressure down south. I told them, “Um I think that the baby is coming out” They looked and sure enough he was ready for me to push him out! It took about 4-5 hours to dilate by 2 cm and then it took just under 1.5 hours to go from a 5 to having delivered Simon! (I think it was because I was really making myself relax to get the epidural it just made everything relaxed enough to dilate quickly. If I would have known it was going to only be that long when I asked for an epidural- I would not have gotten one! But I don't regret getting one, although if the chance presents itself again-I don't think I will get one again.)

{This is when they were trying to get the epidural to work properly. It hurt so bad! Matt is so great in helping me breathe through contractions. He just gets right down in my face and breathes with me and seems to know what I need without me having to say anything. Which I don't. Not talking it a coping mechanism I seem to use during labor.}

Thankfully my OB was sitting out in his car in the parking garage eating a burger so he was able to come right away! He actually made it in time for me to start pushing and be there for the actual birth! I'm not sure how long I actually had to push but it wasn't too long. It was very strange actually having to be told to push. And not really being able to feel it. Somehow, the epidural managed to at least numb the lower part or maybe it evened out when I rolled onto my back to push. Not really sure. But I did not like pushing with an epidural. It just seemed so ineffective. At least it still didn't take too long. And it was nice for those immediate after birth pains.

Simon Matthew was born about 1:30 on Wednesday afternoon, weighing 8 lbs 9oz and measuring 21 inches long. We were so very glad to have him in our arms!

{Matt giving his momma a hug. Everyone was so happy!}

{What a big boy he was!}

{My OB and Matt laughing about something. My OB is really great and seems to always be making us laugh. Even during labor and delivery and right after}

{Seeing/holding Simon for the first time. It was just a really wonderful moment}

{Matt was just so happy to have his son here. I think it is so sweet how emotional he can get seeing his kids for the first time!}

{Simons first bath. He wasn't a fan}

{Daddy holding his sweet baby for the first time}

After you give birth you have to spend at least 2 hours in the delivery room before you are transferred to the recovery room. I think we were there a little bit longer. They were giving the epidural time to wear off so I could walk. Well, apparently since they kept turning it up and up and up, my legs were REALLY numb. Especially my right side. So they had to lift me up into the wheel chair. I could not move me legs AT ALL. It was definitely not a fun feeling. It was very strange actually. It took about 8 hours for it to finally wear off enough that I could walk on my own. Also, my back was obviously a lot more sore where the needle was and my back just seemed quite weak.

But Simon is here now and we just love him to pieces!!!

And a HUGE thank you to my sis-in-law, Natalie! She was there bright and early to help us document our story through pictures! I love having these pictures! Thank you!

Sonogram

We had Simon's sonogram this afternoon. It went very very well!! We are so encouraged. We are praising God and thanking Him for his wonderful goodness to us. Simon's tumor has gotten smaller!! By about a 1/3. It was about 3 cm when he was born and it is now only 2.3 cm!! And the guy who came and talked to us briefly after just quickly going over the images said that everything else seemed to look good!

What an amazing answer to prayers. We are just so excited about this and know that God is watching over our sweet baby! He does hear our prayers and He seems to be answering them with a favorable answer!! We hope and pray that God will completely heal Simon!

We did not talk with the oncologist yet as to when the next follow-up sonogram will be. We should hear that tomorrow.

Simon did so well laying on the bed for the sonogram. He sucked on his paci and almost went to sleep again! Of course =) We had Zethan with us this time and I thought he would be intrigued by everything and be good but no, he wanted to be his rowdy self. I should have known better. So Matt didn't get to sit and listen/watch much because he was busy wrangling Zethan.

Thank you so much again for all of your prayers!

Just Pictures

Notice a theme?? He can hardly stay awake =)

Oncologist visit #2

We had another appointment with the oncologist last Thursday morning. It was just a short little check up. He felt around on his stomach to make sure that he couldn't feel the tumor. Which he could not, and it all felt normal to him.

He also went over the urine test results with us. They came back completely normal, and he said that was a very good sign.

We will take Simon in for a sonogram on Tuesday afternoon. Then we should hear results from that the next afternoon. I the tumor has grown we will have another sono in 3-4 weeks. If it is stable or has shrunk then he said we would wait a little longer in between sonograms.

The doctor said that watching Simon will be able to tell us as much as anything if the tumor starts to grow/cause problems. He is doing so well right now, that if his eating or his diapers or overall behavior changes we should have a good idea that something is going on.

We are thankful for the good report so far! We know that God hears our prayers and we know that so so many people all over the US and overseas are praying for our sweet baby.

Simon Matthew. Simon means "he who has heard" or "he hears [Gods Word]".  Matthew means "gift of God". We are trusting God that He has heard our prayers and we are thanking Him for this precious gift He has given to us. And we continue to pray that Simon will grow up strong and healthy and will be able to not only hear God's Word but that he will take it to heart and God will use him and do something amazing through him and that he will truly be a gift of God to many many people. Little Simon has already blessed us so much in these 4 1/2 weeks that he has been here.

He just fits so well right into our family! I think that I really like the age difference between Zethan and Simon. It is about 3 1/2 years and it seems to be much easier handling a newborn with a 3 year old rather than a 2 year old! I do like how close in age the older kids are now that they are a little older but having a newborn seems to be easier when I don't have a toddler that needs a bit more hands on help as well. But part of that is also, just how good of a baby he is. I just can not believe how good he is. I will get a rude awaking if he ever decides he wants to be a cranky baby. He is even only waking up once or twice a night! If I can time it right and get a feeding in around 9:30 or so, then he will only wake up once somewhere between 2-4 and then not again until around 8. He is up for an hour or more though when he does wake up-trying to get all the burps out. But I don't think any of the others were ever even close to doing that by a month old! Thank you Lord!!

Each one of our children have been and are a blessing. But with Simon possibly having such big problems- no one ever wants to hear that their child has cancer, no matter if it is life threatening or not- it just has made us that much more thankful and grateful to have him. I will just sit and hold him and stare at him and just am so amazed by him. And to think that he has a tumor is just so unreal. He seems so perfectly healthy-and maybe he his! But if I even let me mind start to wander into the what if's and the possibilities and all the emotions that the possibility of surgery one day brings- well, I just try not to let my mind wander much.

Oncologist

We saw the pediatric oncologist on Wednesday. It was mostly just meeting him and getting all our "ducks in a row" still. He wants to follow along with Simon's care monthly as well. He was going to talk with the surgeon and set things up with her as well as far as if we would go to him one month then the surgeon the next and just touch base with her about how they wanted to proceed.

The office was very bright and festive and had lots of toys and things for the cancer kids to play with. It was kind of sad though, seeing some kids there for treatment and their little bald heads. But you could tell that the doctor and nurses there took good care of them, because the kids seemed in good spirits and happy to see the doctor-not scared of him.

He was very kind and seemed like he would stay on top of things. He found out, when he went to check the urine test results, that they did the wrong test at the hospital. So yesterday I collected another sample and took it in. He said that Neuroblastoma tumors don't always produce these markers, but if this one does, then it will be a helpful tool in tracking the tumor. If it doesn't produce them, then it is a useless test.

(Also, since we have not done a biopsy on the tumor, there is a slight chance that it could be something else. But he said that it looks like a neuroblastoma, acts like one, and seems to be one, so we are just assuming that it is)

I asked him if the tumor would grow in relative size to Simon and he said that it might for a little while here at the beginning but it should level out and stay the same or regress. Unless it is going to grow of course then it would get bigger and that is when we would want to remove it. One concern, he said, was that if it got too big, it could push on his diaphragm or lungs and cause breathing problems. He said that if it grows quickly and gets quite big then we would maybe do a low dose of chemo first. He said we had a few options of how to treat it if need be.

Matt asked him how quickly it could grow/spread and he said that potentially it could just take a few weeks to change a lot so it was very important to keep up with it and track it. He said that usually though, if it is an aggressive tumor that it would start out aggressive. 

Then I told him how the tumor had changed in appearance while in utero and asked him what would cause that or why would it do that. He told us that the probable cause was that it grew rapidly (as babies grow rapidly and it was still growing with Simon) and that it "out stripped" itself.

We will have another appointment with the oncologist in 2 weeks and should have the results of the urine test by then and we can go over those. And then at that appointment we will set up an appointment for the sonogram in the next couple of days. The doctor wanted all the results possible before he planned out the course of treatment /setting up monthly sonograms, etc. 

He said that they don't know a whole lot about neuroblastoma tumors and why they occur and why sometimes they go away on their own and sometimes they don't.

He seemed like he would be up front with us and wouldn't try to sugar coat things. Somewhat I think I have felt like with the surgeon, she wants us to just forget about the tumor until we check on it monthly and that it would be silly of us to be worried about it, since statistically the chances of it going away on its own are quite good. But the oncologist made us feel validated in still being concerned (not overly worried) that it could potentially be quite serious. 

One thing we didn't think to ask at this appointment was if he had any insight about this cancer or other cancers being more of a concern later down the road, since he has this now. We'll try to ask him next time but I don't know if he will have any answers for that or not.

Mini Update

Simon is already 2 weeks old today! Time has definitely gone by much quicker since his birth. He is doing well. We went in for a weight check-up yesterday and he was still an ounce off his birth weight but had gained a whole ounce per day since his one week check-up. I had thought he was almost to his birth weight then but he was only 8lb 2oz at his first check-up and now he is 8lbs 8oz. So he has been gaining much better this second week of his life!

He is still very very sleepy during the day. I try to wake him every 3 hours to nurse. I can get him to eat well, but he is pretty much just eating in his sleep and I can hardly wake him. Sometimes when I change his diaper he doesn't even wake up! But then during the night, he is usually awake for at least an hour every time he eats. He will eventually go back to sleep but he seems uncomfortable and needs to burp a lot during the night. So I don't really know why he would have more gas during the night than during the day??

The kids are still very much enjoying him. Zethan will sometimes ask if he can kiss the bump on baby Simon's head to make it feel better. It is so cute!

****Simon has a big bump on head that has been there since birth. The doctors said that it is from him being so low, down on my cervix for so long while he was in utero, that it just built pressure and fluid on there. It will eventually go away but could take a couple of months. It doesn't seem to bother him.

Yesterday we visited my grandma at her Health Food Store (and my mom works there too) and she was holding Simon for a long time. She asked Zethan if she could keep him. He shook his head no and told her, "You didn't grow him out of your tummy." So funny!!

For the most part, we are doing great with dealing with everything. We are able to just enjoy Simon and how sweet he is and don't really think too much about the fact that he has a tumor inside him.

I forgot how much time it takes to just take care of a newborn, that that is mostly all I am focusing on. Taking care of a newborn and recovering from giving birth-(oh and that little detail of having 3 other children that somehow have needs too and a house that doesn't clean itself). But really Simon has been a fantastic newborn! I am just so thankful to get to be taking care of him! And between people bringing food and the frozen meals I already had, I haven't had to worry about cooking much! Which has been a huge blessing! And before Simon was born I went to Sam's and bought a big pack of paper plates and bowls so I haven't had to do many dishes either!! With not having a dishwasher that has been great!! A lot more trash bags are taken out-but at least I'm not spending lots of time washing dishes! Haha!

We actually have an appointment today with the pediatric oncologist. It just doesn't seem quite real that we are taking our child to an oncologist. A cancer doctor. Our baby. But we know that right now, Simon is really in a good place. The tumor is small and the outlook is great! We are just praying that it stays that way!

Okay well, I guess that concludes this random post!